Following on from yesterday’s introspection mood, I think I’m going to follow the trend today too. I find that people’s words and the phrases they use sometimes annoy me. Admittedly it’s a lot more of a minor annoyance rather than an annoyance similar to the feeling of a migraine or an arrow through the knee, but annoying none-the-less. I think people use phrases and clichés sincerely and I think most people mean well (I am prone to the odd cliché I can’t lie.) The annoyance stems from the fact that people say things as if the phrase they speak into existence is a quick fix of some sort.
The phrase look at the big picture for example, in itself is actually quite useful, the only thing is; people will say that phrase when it comes to just about anything.
Your dog died? Look at the big picture, you’ll always hold onto the memories and get a new dog!
Looking to change your job? Look at the big picture it may not be realistic to change careers now.
Have a grievance with a colleague? Look at the big picture – if you confront them it may negatively affect your career?
I know some of them statements are massive exaggerations, trust me. But hear me out. Phrases like - look at the big picture that are honestly cut and paste, hold no true originality, and are really unhelpful sometimes when it comes to trying to help someone out no matter how good your intentions are. Now I also understand that I have just gone on a two paragraph rant about a poxy phrase so ill move on and stop bullying look at the big picture.
The point I’m making is there are no quick answers to people’s issues I think we also put so much credence into what people say that cookie cutter phrases aren’t really the way to go. I think slowing down and listening to people’s grief with life in general and not interjecting with waffle and jargon is the better way to go.
Its very important to listen to what you think is the right approach to your own life! You will nine times out of ten know exactly what you need to do but somehow require the validation from somebody else who has no real idea what you’re going through in life and what your wants/needs are. I can only imagine how many people have been knocked off a decent path in life based off what some random person they’ve met in life has had to say. Even more horrifying would be to think that they were knocked off course by some cliché copy and past phrase that has been used to death.
When thinking about your next move in life be it professionally or personally its so important that the voice you prioritise is your own, It’s also the logical approach. As well meaning as people are in your life they don’t know everything about you. Lets be honest with ourselves, they probably don’t even know 95% about the person you truly are. That isn’t to say that you are hiding things or being sneaky and mischievous by the way, its just basic common sense that the people you deal with on a daily basis have their own lives and their own concerns and basically, we all have to deal with our own shit. They don’t have the time to learn every single little thing about you, so why would you expect them to actually know what you need and what’s best for you. As well meaning as they may be its honestly impossible for them to give you advice that best suits your needs and your next moves.
I have a lot of faith in people (not that you could tell by the subtext of this article) but that doesn’t mean that I believe people know me better than I know me, because that would be what some would call foolish. Advice, although I’ve kind of discredited it here is useful and honestly its important to heed advice too in life, especially if you are moving in the wrong direction and some close friends and family sit you down for a chat don’t think because you read this article that their words are cheap and meaningless because they would be genuinely looking out for your wellbeing. It’s the advice you get on a daily basis when you announce an intention to go for promotion or maybe start going to the gym etc, etc. Most people will give you advice through the guise of their own personalities so keep that in mind that most people will unintentionally be projecting themselves through you. BUT LET ME END THAT WITH I AM NO PSYCHOLIGCAL EXPERT AND THIS IS ALL ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU BY A HALF MAD DUBLINER. Anyway, with that out of the way lets continue.
I remember reading a book by David Goggins who is a former Navy Seal, and as much as I had mixed opinions on the book, and mixed opinions on the man himself he referenced something that helped him in his search for self-improvement and that was a thing called the ‘’Accountability Mirror.’’ Basically the premise is to be self critical in a way that is brutally honest and also fair on yourself. The beauty of the Accountability Mirror is that no one ever needs to know about it, it is simply for you. Also it’s not a theoretical thing at all it involves putting physical notes on your actual mirror in your room about things you feel you can improve on and then as you start to improve them things you take the note off the mirror.
I’m not saying you should go out and buy loads of sticky notes by any means right away but that’s just one example of a way we can go about listening to ourselves and prioritising our own voices over the voices of others. But just remember that no matter what you do you will never please everyone, it’s literally impossible. People are constantly projecting their own lives on you through cheap advice that is not really helpful at all, but we take to heart, and unfortunately, some people have a tendency to project their failures on you too and tell you there’s no way to achieve your objectives in life because they couldn’t do it.
To surmise! You’re pretty fecking unreal to be fair. Even to get to this point in time where you’re surviving and looking to improve yourself is a brilliant achievement and you should be proud for seeking more ways to improve. Just be weary of the Look at the big Picture merchants because they’re everywhere.
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