It can be hard when you’re young. The self-destructive thought patterns we all subject ourselves to without even realising can compound in their detriment. I often describe it as fighting a war on two fronts, the only thing is. The enemy you are facing comes from within. The battle between the conscious and sub-conscious mind is a topic I have thought about for years. The past few years for me have been a journey of self-discovery and educating myself on how my brain works. We can spend so many years feeling sorry for ourselves, all the while being ignorant as to how our brain works and the fact that it is one of plasticity and flexibility.
I am by no means a brain surgeon, but I do think that I’ve suffered enough (self-inflicted I may add) and educated myself enough to have a layman’s opinion on the matter.
If I were to sum it up in one paragraph, I would say we are in a constant battle between the conscious and sub-conscience mind. Our brain has certain patterns it follows. It doesn’t matter how much we want to react in certain ways to experiences that occur throughout our lives. How we reacted to similar situations that may have happened In the past dictates how we react to problems that occur in the present.
This is the battle we face daily. In our heads we want to react to a situation in certain way, but the problem is we sub-consciously react to issues that arise in our lives in bad ways because our sub-conscious mind dictates we react in that way. It’s a spiral of misery we go through, and it can take a rock bottom moment to self-correct. BUT fear not. Hopefully by the end of reading this article you can know when the sub-conscious shithousery rears its ugly head.
When you’re young you are susceptible to a lot of negative thought patterns that pop up in your head throughout the day. The comparisons with others, the self-criticism and the various other ways we put ourselves through misery when we’re in our teenage years can follow us all the way into adulthood, and for some, they may never find a way of overcoming these thoughts.
As I mentioned before, I am by no means an expert, however I have gone through enough self-inflicted grief to have an opinion on the matter and hopefully by sharing with you, you can find some solace in realising you’re not alone, at the very least.
Looking at yourself in the mirror can be a horrible experience for some. Why is this the case? When we are younger, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, unknowingly so in most cases. This can drive us mad without us even realising it. Without knowing you are training your brain to never accept yourself. This can drive people to completely change their appearance in some cases and even then, they are not happy because they’re still comparing themselves to someone/something else. With nearly seven billion people in the world, you can imagine how the comparisons will never end.
This is why it’s important to recognise the self-conscious mind and how it’s working. At the end of the day, we don’t even register a large percentage of what we’re thinking so unless you can spot a negative self-conscious thought in action you’re going to be snookered because every time you think negatively about yourself, you’re training your brain to react in that exact way going forward. Your brain doesn’t know what a positive/negative thought is. It only responds to stimulus and will react in the way you’ve trained it to without even knowing.
It's not your fault at all to feel the way you do. Your brain is simply reacting to situations based on your past reactions to said situations. You can change this, but it’s very important that you notice the negative thought patterns in action! This is where the conscious mind can play a part. Its crucial we turn off the auto pilot when it comes to how we critic our behaviour or even our own appearance. We must constantly question why it is we feel certain ways. the bad news is a lot of your brain chemistry has been formed in our early teenage years when we are the most susceptible to criticism hence when we get into out adulthood, we’re snookered because our brain only knows to react negatively. Low self-esteem, low confidence and being a negative nelly in general can be the consequences of such self-conscious thinking.
I used to hate looking in the mirror, but it was only after realising that I was my own biggest critic and carried over a lot of my bad thoughts from my teenage years to adulthood that I began to get better. Imagine walking past every window and mirror and not looking at it because you didn’t like what you seen? That was my life for many years. It takes a lot of re-wiring of the self-conscious to overcome these horrible ways of thinking which is why I beg of you to start analysing every thought you have about yourself, and then realise that most of the negative thoughts you have are fraudulent.
This is exactly how I once thought so everything I’m talking about here is from self-experience and how I’ve gotten better. I’m not saying for a minute that my approach is the right one, in fact I could be wholeheartedly wrong. but sure, what would be the point of this blog if I didn’t want to try and help people out of misery because I was that miserable person in the not-so-distant past.
So be more conscious in the way you think because how you think dictates the person you will become. You can’t avoid the sub-conscious mind, nor am I saying you should. However, you must realise that you have wired your brain in a certain way and if you mostly have a negative mindset, you must do everything in your power to – 1: Understand you are thinking negatively. 2: change your thinking based on the reality of your situation and learn to notice when you are slipping into negative sub-conscious thinking.
This may take a few months/years to rewire your mind, but I guarantee you, if you start to be more present and aware of your thinking right now, within a few weeks you will feel a bit better more often. Be prepared for a long war though. The battle to become more present is one that takes a lot of self reflection and humility. You're not menat to feel good all the time, but in the same breath - feeling bad all the time will only hurt you and who wants to live their lives in pain?
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